Naming Kittens

T. S. Eliot took this question quite 'seriously':

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

Naming Kittens Basics

Many shelters and humane societies give their adoptable pets names so they have something other than a sterile file number to refer to them by. You are not bound to call the cat you adopt by this name, and many cats would prefer that you don't. I adopted one cat who had been given the moniker 'Daphne', and since it suited her so well, Daphne she remained. On the other hand, I adopted a kitten who was burdened with the handle Pumpkin Kitty. He was neither orange nor round, and now is known as Nathan, which suits him much better.

When naming a kitten, first be aware that your kitten is going to grow up. Names that refer to the kitten's smallness are liable to sound silly in a year.

Undignified names are likewise suspect. When your cat is regally sunning himself on a window sill, are you going to shame him by addressing him as 'Goofus' or 'SpazCat'? Save the diminutives and humiliating names for 'nicknames' - your cat will acquire many in the course of his/her life.

Group Naming

If your cat is to be a family cat, bring the whole family into the kitten naming decision process. This is especially fun to do over dinner or other convivial gathering. Take everyone's suggestions seriously. Make a list. Be respectful of children's choices. Some names will 'float to the top', some will sink like a stone. By the end of a meal, usually one name will emerge as the winner.

But what if you can't agree? Say you want to call the new kitten Tristan and your husband is insisting on TuffCat? Don't divorce over it - you can call him Tristan and your hubby call him Tuffy and guess what? the cat will respond either way.

Cats can often accept multiple names. I had a pair of littermates that were indistinguishable except for the length of their white socks. My mom could never remember which name went with which 'sock-length', so she just called them 'Longsocks' and 'Shortsocks'. Eventually, the right kitten's ears would prick up at the right 'sock-length' name; they clearly knew which she was referring to.

Where Do Names Come From?

Here's some ideas for where to scrounge for kitten name candidates:

• Names you love that you'd never (for whatever reason) name your kids - Maudie, Freida, Griselda, Agnes-Jane

• Names from books or movies you love - Gandalf and Arwen, Thomas a Becket (this is a great name for a cat), Ripley, Mad Max

• Color names - Smoke, Misty, Koi-cat (for a calico), The Honorable Miss Gingham, Ghost, Primrose, Amber, Emerald, Sapphire

• Hero names - Winston (Churchill), Nathan (Hale), Natty Bumpo, etc. (Warning - My mother named a Persian Lech for Lech Walesa. She had to keep correcting pronunciation, since people tended to see it as the first syllable of lecher.)

• Product names - Reebok, Sapporo, Linux

• Pair names for two kittens - Neiman and Marcus, Bogart and Bacall, Rosencrantz and Gildenstern.

Nicknames

Whatever you wind up naming your kitten, he/she will acquire numerous nicknames. Scooch, Bumpalump, Beamis, Waffle, BadCat; if you call the cat by the nickname often enough, it will soon recognize that you mean it and response accordingly. "Crazy, GET DOWN!" in the right tone of voice will be as effective as using the 'official' name.

At the Vet's

When you are at the vet's, you are no longer Ms. or Mr. LastName, you are Cats-name's Mommy or Daddy. So when selecting a name, remember this and ask yourself, do I, as a grown person, want to be referred to in public as "Drooler's Daddy"? Pick a pet name you can live with under these circumstances, and you and the kitten will live happily ever after.